I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize