it was like eating out sand paper
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
