I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize