they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He passed out mid-signature
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize