Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We left the knife in your bed.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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