adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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