oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
