I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
