as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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