Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
