GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
