is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
