Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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