Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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