the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This baby is an asshole
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
