So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
