anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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