think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
