I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We got so high we made milksteak
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
