My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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