Too much gin, very little bucket
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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