i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
