Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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