it hurts more in the daytime
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
