my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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