Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
