who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
