TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
