How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
