Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
