If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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