Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize