He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
