I accidentally burped into my bong.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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