BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry about my life...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
