I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
