i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
