Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
