I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize