Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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