if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
