a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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