remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
