Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
