If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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