There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
