I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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