summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
