Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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