every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
