Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
