JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
