I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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