You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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