did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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