so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
