Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
