So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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