Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
