i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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