you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
