I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
