Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
