just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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